5 Common Reasons for Quitting Church and Why We Should Reject Them

The following list is not a scientific poll. it is anecdotal. It is experiential. These are the most common reasons I’ve heard for why once faithful attendees no longer participate in church. These reasons are, however, unconvincing in the end. After all, if active involvement in a theologically robust, God-glorifying, people-loving church is God’s will for every believer, then there really are no good reasons to quit going to church. There may be good cause to move to another church, but quitting church altogether is never God’s desire for anyone. With that said, what are some of the most common reasons given for giving up on the church?

1) “There are hypocrites in church.”

Yes, there are hypocrites in every church. And it is certainly easy to grow weary of those who say one thing and do another. It is also easy to forget that we are often just as guilty of hypocrisy. There are many ways that we fail to even live up to our own expectations of ourselves, much less God’s will for us. Thankfully, God’s love for us is not based on our ability to do what we know is best in every moment. In fact, God saves those who are willing to admit that they are often hypocrites and acknowledge they are in need of God’s grace. So, to those decrying all the hypocrites inside the church, God’s invitation is that there is always room for one more.

2) “I’ve been hurt by someone at church.”

The church is a family and like most families, there will be hurt along the way. For many, it is ordinary relational difficulty that produces a root of bitterness; that root grows into resentment and eventually results in total avoidance. God’s Word anticipates this kind of division and calls us to protect unity (Ephesians 4:3), forgive those who hurt us (Colossians 3:13), and restore broken relationships (Matthew 5:24).

For others, the hurt is more severe such as abuse or assault. These greivous sins ought not to be taken lightly and are not taken so by God. However, God’s plan for upholding those who have been terribly sinned against includes the church (1 Thessalonians 5:14), not fleeing from the church. This is not to say that one must remain in the same church in which they were abused/assaulted, in many cases they should not.

3) “I can’t find a church that meets all my needs”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer warned against the danger of desiring a church that is a perfect fit, “He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial. God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God himself accordingly.”

It feels good to believe that we are so spiritual that no church can attain our standards, but Bonhoeffer reminds us that this attitude flows from pride. He provokes the question, “Is it truly our super-spirituality which leads us to believe no church is good enough for us? Or, is that the best excuse we can find to stop gathering with the church while easing our consciences?”

4) “I don’t need the church.”

Many assume the church is nothing more than a spiritual pep rally to get us through the week ahead. It is unsurprising then that so many see the church as unimportant or unnecessary. After all, we have our Bibles and we have Jesus, so who needs the church? The obvious problem is that this directly contradicts the teaching of Scripture. God actually designed us in such a way that we need one another. We need teaching, accountability, encouragement, love, prayer, fellowship, singing, etc. and gathering regularly in church is God’s plan for providing these opportunities for us (Ephesians 4:1-16).

5) “I’m too busy to go to church.”

In a sermon series concerning the church, Dr. David Martyn Lloyd-Jones admonished those whom he called “trippers”–those who regularly found better things to do than gather with the church. He told his congregation, “Unless you feel that something is being offered and given to you here [at church] which no other institution can offer or equal, well then, in the name of Heaven, go out into the country or to the seaside. The church of Christ is a church of believers, an association of people banded together by a common belief and a common love. You don’t believe? Well, above all, don’t pretend that you do, go to the country and the seaside. All I ask of you is, be consistent. When someone dies in your family, do not come to ask the church in which you do not believe to come bury him. Go to the seaside for consolation…”

Why is Martyn Lloyd-Jones so strong with his words? Because he understood the importance of the church in the life of the believer. He knew that the church is a group of believers “banded together.” He believed that one of the evidences of genuine faith in Christ is a love for God, a love for God’s Word, and a love for God’s people.

We tend to make time for what we consider important. For Martyn Lloyd-Jones, few things were more important than gathering with other Christians and sitting under the preaching of God’s Word.

Does God Really Desire Faithfulness in Church?

The temptation to give up on the church is not a new one. The original recipients of the letter written to the Hebrews were tempted to stop gathering with the church out of fear—fear of persecution and fear of social contempt. The personal safety and reputation of these churchgoers were on the line. To these beleaguered Christians, the author writes, “… let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some…” (Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV). In other words, God’s agenda for you will never involve giving up on regularly gathering in a local church.


Credits

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Hebrews 10:24-25 and all other Scripture). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Life Together, trans. John W. Doberstein (San Francisco: Harper, 1954), 27.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones quoted in Iaian Murray. The Life of D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones: 1899-1981 (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 2013).

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

The Image of God and Your Social Media Engagement

Remember the good ole’ days when your social media timelines were filled with balanced, useful, and encouraging words from all your friends and family? Yeah, me neither! I find myself commonly thinking two thoughts as I scroll social media: (1) What were you thinking when you posted this?, and (2) What was I thinking when I posted this?

I don’t want to be overly optimistic but there is hope for social media. If we are going to notice any real change on our timelines it has to start with each one of us having some theological awareness. Specifically, what I am arguing for is that we discipline ourselves to filter our social media habits through the theological truth known as the image of God.

What does it mean to be created in the image of God?

When we talk about the image of God we are talking about how God’s likeness is imprinted in us as created beings (Genesis 1:26). Human beings stand alone as beings created in the image of God (Psalm 8). No other being, whether it be an animal or angelic being, is created in the image of God. That being said, to be created in the image of God means that we are like God, not that we are God.

In a 2016 ERLC post titled ‘What does it mean to be made in God’s Image?’ David Closson convincingly argues that the image of God in man boils down to both who man is and what man does. First, when we think of the image of God in man as who man is we are talking about our capacities. Specifically, we have in mind our intellectual, emotional, and relational capacities. These are all things that are possessed by us because they are true of God, whose image we are created in. Second, being created in the image of God has to do with what we do. God not only gives us certain capacities He has designed us to use those capacities for His glory. Kyle Gangel summarized this aspect well in his post ‘My Worth and My Unworthiness’ when he says that God “commands each person to reflect his image by obeying his Word. […] We were created in the likeness of God, so that we might represent him as living, breathing pictures (images) of him.”

As a result of mankind’s fall into sin (Genesis 3) the image of God has been negatively impacted. We still retain the image of God in some sense (James 3:9) but imperfectly so. Rather than use our God given likeness to love God and serve God, we use our image bearing qualities to love and serve self. God transforms us through the Spirit to be more like Christ to restore image of God in us because Christ is the perfect image of God (Colossians 1:15-16).  

How does the image of God impact the “big” things?

Being theologically aware that we are created in the image of God impacts how we see and interact with the world around us. For instance, as Christians we are quick to point out that the basis for racial equality and protection for the unborn is that all people are created in God’s image. Because we are made in the image of God every human life has intrinsic value, dignity, and worth. If being created in the image of God impacts how we see and do everything, its relevance cannot be isolated to just these particular big issues. We have to allow this theology to work its way through all dark areas of our lives and bring us into the light.

How does the image of God impact the “small” things?

One area we often fail to see the relevance of the image of God is how it changes our engagement on social media. The people we disagree with, or struggle to get along with, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect on the basis that they are created in the image of God. Our posts, comments, likes, shares, and retweets must be theologically aware of the reality we are engaging with (and about) those who have intrinsic worth.

To mock or ridicule someone through clever memes based on their looks, voice, demeanor, intellect, or personality is to belittle and attack the image of God. Furthermore, to capitalize on a person’s misuse of the image of God by mocking them in their sin is equally unhelpful. At the very least this type of interaction fails to communicate the grace and mercy of the cross. Unfortunately, how funny something is often takes precedence over whether or not it meets any other criteria before being shared. As image bearers we can choose to function better than this.

James actually makes a connection between our talk and the image of God in James 3:9, “With [our tongues] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” (ESV, see below). We think our words are a relatively small thing but God has a much different view. Sometimes the things we think are small and insignificant are actually vitally important to God. Our words, memes, and likes are all part of how we communicate and they make up a sizable part of our lives. Our talk matters to God because people matter to God.

Closing Thoughts

God hasn’t called us to police others on social media but he has called speak the truth in love and to help our brothers and sisters in Christ do the same. Here are a couple of questions to consider as we engage on social media:

  1. Does what I’m about to say, like, or share in any way degrade or belittle someone created in the image of God?
  2. Does what I’m about to say, like, or share in any way monopolize on someone else’s failings in order to make a point?
Credits

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Matthew 4:19 and all other Scripture). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

Photo by ROBIN WORRALL on Unsplash